Friday, December 18, 2009

Maybe you were right

But baby I was lonely.
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry.

Wow. I didn't realise it had been so long till I blogged.

School finished today. I don't know how I'm meant to feel. Generally, I'd say happy. But... I don't know. I just have this feeling that something bad's going to happen. It could be that we're closer to finishing year 11, maybe?
I hope it's that. Because otherwise something bad's going to happen.
And I really don't want that.

Well, my friend's seem to not like me. Don't blame them, but, it's a bit odd. Or if they do, they're giving very odd vibes.

Shit. I need to go to bed. I'll blog later, if I remember.


Monday, November 16, 2009

How do you show her you love her?

Yeah... this has nothing to do with Demi Lovato. But the song's on repeat and it's making me think. :)

So, just when you think everything's getting better - WHAM. You fall back.

I'm going to blame the weather this time, if someone asks why I'm so depressed.

I mean, it's nothing to do with the fact that my friends can't be bothered to help me - although, they never actually tried.

You see, it's like if my school friends start getting close, then my church friends start ignoring me. And then when I try to grab them back, my school friends drift away.

I really do think they have the same poles so the repel.

It can be annoying.

Especially when they don't try to understand you - all it takes is a little effort.

Maybe that's why I haven't had a single full day where I'm not pissed or upset.

Oh, it turns out the people you thought you can trust - you can't.

Okay, so I'm thinking of getting my hair done that colour. Thoughts? I mean, it's not like I'm allowed anyway. But it would be nice. Chelle wants it, so, voila. Nada.
Hasta la vista

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Such a mystery...

Ughhhhhh, Chelle - you pee me off! Seriously? I like my music a tad bit loud so I can actually hear it - sorrryyyy. I'm sorry if I don't want to listen to Most Haunted or cop programmes every night. ¬_¬

Anyway, with that out that way. : D
I think. Although... it's downscaled a bit today. Less caffeine? Maybe.
I don't know. But in whatever case, it's bugging the crap out of me. xD

So now I've got to act - a tiny bit - for when Grace comes so she doesn't ask what's up - 'cause nothign IS up. I just don't have a smiley all the time.


Let's dance, for the weekend, when the night is all about.
Let's dance, grab your girlfriends, grab your boyfriends - let it all out.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Moments like this...

The next lyrics go: Will bring you down.
But my version, moments like this will bring you up.
'Cause I am - I'm up. :) And I love it.
And I'm guessing this is going to last.
Now just to prove to everyone else that I am fine now. I'm good. I don't have to smile and pretend to people that I'm not anymore.
And I love that. :)

ooh, Michael Buble. ;]

Ooh, I'm so happy I could fart rainbows :D
Although... that would be weird to see. But the point of a rainbow is still there. Like a clear night full of stars or the drift of a sea.

I'm back.

For good.




They say all's fair in love and war.
But I won't need to fight it, we'll get it right yeah, we'll be united.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Get me outta here...

Get me out of here! 'Cause my eyes are burning! Right nooowww!

Please, get me out! I don't want to be here! Please?! Why does no one listen?!

But David and Grace, I'd disappoint them beyond comparison... and Dom, he'd hate me again. If I fell back, to not pretending I'm great and happy all the time, not letting the blade give me release of tension.
So I'll just let it build up. So they're happy seeing me happy.

But I just... I don't want Dom to give up on me. I do love him, and it's a poor excuse for my selfishness I know.
And Grace, she gets frustrated at me. Or it comes across that way when I'm down. And it's not fair on her if I annoy her. That's not fair.
Then there's David... He's helped me when I felt like people were giving up. He's always listened.

But that doesn't take away the fact I don't want to be here. I don't want to have to pretend for them, I'm not that good at acting, I'll crack soon.



If you were my boyfriend - I'd be true to you.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Down down down.

I shot for the sky, I'm stuck on the ground.
So why do I try? I know I'm gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
I'll never know why it's coming down down down.
I think, I actually love him. :)
Although, I'm not going to say that. He'd probably think I was clingy or something.
Ah well. It's nice to have things sort of back to normal - liking the boy who doesn't see you.
It's nice. :) I feel so much happier when he even says hi to me - does that make me lame?
Probably. Ah well. I'm just a lame person. x]

Who's pretty much depressed as well.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Wouldn't it be great to take the pistol out the hand?

...And wouldn't it be great if we were dead?

Well, if I were.

Of course, there's going to be the people that say "don't." But that's because they feel the need to say it. Maybe? Someone says they want to kill themselves, and they automatically go "that's not the way to go."

Or am I being stupidly paranoid again?

Ah well. Mother knows now. About everything.


"I owe you so much I hope you know that."

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

"The bad boys, are always catching my eye."

Wow. My veins are ice cold. My mind's buzzing with questions. My skin's prickling with goosebumps.
I've changed. And I didn't know. I thought I was tougher. Stronger.
But I'm not.
I'm weaker. Pathetic.
Maybe it would be the best option. What I told Dom. That way I wouldn't have to see the disappointment in everyone's face.
I wouldn't be "a shell".
I'm frozen.
Does he really care?
He hates me now. So that's a no.
But why would he tell me I'd changed, if he didn't?
I wish you. Could see me. I'm flying.

That's the reason!
The reason he broke up with me. The one he can never tell me. The one he keeps changing. It was 'cause I'm changed. I'm a shell. I'm something he hates. I have to not let things bug me. Get to me. Like I used to. Laugh it off. Flick it away.
He doesn't love me like I love him.
And he never will.
So why am I still pining? Why am I still willing to pretend to be the old me? So that he'll take me back? 'Cause I know for certain he won't.
Who would?

"I'm still here, still fighting. Still crazy, still trying. I owe you so much I hope you knew that."

Saturday, October 03, 2009

You took something perfect, and painted it red.

So, yeah. I thought I might blog back. Events taking place, rah rah rah. :)
I'm pretty sure that's all you need to know. :D
Major things that have happened since I last blogged: (I can't remember when that was ;]:
  • Dad got released from Prison.
  • I flipped off the majority of my friends.
  • Have had major doubts about everything.
  • Got broke up with.
  • Won't tell any of my friends and family how I'm really feeling. :)

So, you know. If they read this, then they'll probably understand my head a bit better xD.
And I'm not saying I'm fucked up. I'm just saying that my head doesn't exactly seem to see the world through everyone elses eyes'. x]

Anyhoo. I think I should keep it simple, for the beginning. :)
Much loves.
"Imogen" x

"The thing you'll regret most in life is not getting that mark on a test, not going somewhere, not doing something for someone. You'll regret not spending time with friends, family, lovers."