Wednesday, October 14, 2009

"The bad boys, are always catching my eye."

Wow. My veins are ice cold. My mind's buzzing with questions. My skin's prickling with goosebumps.
I've changed. And I didn't know. I thought I was tougher. Stronger.
But I'm not.
I'm weaker. Pathetic.
Maybe it would be the best option. What I told Dom. That way I wouldn't have to see the disappointment in everyone's face.
I wouldn't be "a shell".
I'm frozen.
Does he really care?
He hates me now. So that's a no.
But why would he tell me I'd changed, if he didn't?
I wish you. Could see me. I'm flying.

That's the reason!
The reason he broke up with me. The one he can never tell me. The one he keeps changing. It was 'cause I'm changed. I'm a shell. I'm something he hates. I have to not let things bug me. Get to me. Like I used to. Laugh it off. Flick it away.
He doesn't love me like I love him.
And he never will.
So why am I still pining? Why am I still willing to pretend to be the old me? So that he'll take me back? 'Cause I know for certain he won't.
Who would?

"I'm still here, still fighting. Still crazy, still trying. I owe you so much I hope you knew that."

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